The most frequent question we get when we answer the telephone is, "How much will it cost to groom my XXX please?"

Its a question that always makes me smile, for it really has no answer.

Just how can you quote for a dog you haven't seen, when even within the breed it can vary by + or - 10Kg? When the coat could be silky and fine, well maintained and professionally groomed on a regular basis, or thick, coarse, packed, matted, flea-ridden and filthy?

Factors that will affect the price of your groom in any salon are:

• The size of dog
• Length of its coat (now) and the length of its coat when its finished
• How long it has been since it was last combed (not brushed) right through to the skin
• When its last bath was
  How "nice" your dog is, whether it stands still and loves being groomed or whether it acts like a bucking bronco as soon as it sees scissors or clippers
• The dog's age, physical disabilities and weight. A skeletal hound is as difficult to clip as an obese dog with rolls of fat.

Some of the questions I ask myself are:

• How many shampoos will this dog need and how much shampoo will I need each time?
• Will I need to use detangling or dematting products too?
• How long will it take to bath this dog?
• How much water will it take?
• How long will it take to dry?
• What style is this dog in?
• Has it grown out (will I have to restyle from scratch or can I follow the existing pattern)?
• What sort of temperament does this dog have? Will it be jumping around on the table and require training or has it already been trained to stand still?
• Is it worth my while investing my time in training this dog - will it be coming back regularly?
• When was this dog last groomed and by whom?
• How much grooming goes on at home? Will this dog's skin be sensitive because its not brushed much in between visits?

So you see, we're not being elusive when we ask you to bring your dog in so we can give you an accurate assessment. And please, don't be offended if we can't give you an accurate quote over the phone.

Each and every full groom includes

Nails (where possible - if it takes three people at the vets to pin your dog down, no, its not included in the groom!)

As many shampoos as is required to get your furbaby squeaky clean

Drying - in the dryer or by hand, depends on breed and style required

Thorough ear cleaning.

Clipping of sanitary areas and in/underfoot.

Triming or clipping of head legs and body to owner specification or breed style.

For those owners who like it (some love it) we also paint nails inclusive in the price.

We will happily dye your dog's greys and we love "creative grooming" though these services are not included in the price!

Under the Veterinary Surgeons Act 1966 we are not allowed to do

Anal Gland Expression or Teeth Cleaning, as both of these "proceedures" require diagnosis (which may not be performed by a lay person). You can, of course, do this yourself to your own dog.

... I know this sucks ... and we hate it too ...

Finally, also under the Animal Welfare Act 2010, we are not allowed to cause unneccessary suffering to an animal.

Basically, this means that if you bring in a dog with more than 20 minutes of dematting work, we are required by LAW to shave it down humanely or refer you to your vet to do the same.

We will only attempt to dematt 5% of a dog - which equates to about a 50p sized mat behind each ear, same size in the armpits and perhaps one or two in groin or tail area.